
You know the feeling I’m talking about? When the ache in your chest is not a bad thing- in fact it’s so happy that you can’t help but share a smug smile with yourself and the houseplant?
I had one of those mornings. I couldn’t figure out why I was more interested in bouncing to my music than opening up to my Bible reading. Should I feel bad? Then, that smug smile crossed my face as it dawned on me; It was joy I was feeling. And there was nothing wrong with allowing joy to overflow.
After seven months of life coaching, countless awkward practice questions, plenty of tears, frustration and fears, I’ve been slowly seeing some more consistent fruit. At the beginning of coaching sessions, I was asked to choose three words to be coached toward. They had to be characteristics I would wish for my guests, after spending time with me, to walk away feeling. One of my three words I chose to be coached toward… is JOY.
I didn’t know how I would get there. I didn’t know exactly how joy would manifest; I just knew I wanted more of it in my life. Not consequently, Abigail means the Father’s joy. And I had sometimes wondered why God would have allowed me to be given a name I couldn’t live up to, one I couldn’t feel in myself to the extent I expected. But, through other circumstances last fall, the Lord began to show me that that seed was growing in my heart.
This morning, I put words to my realization; JOY is becoming a more familiar and welcome companion.
All snuggled into pillows
And sprawled upon the floor
I wonder at this feeling
That warms me to my core
The fireplace is humming
The sunlight smiling down
But neither are the source
Of this warmth I have found
It’s felt in sweet connection
It’s felt in honesty
Within a loving friendship
It blooms inside of me
There are moments of frustration
Images of fear
But a peek inside still shows
A lovely bud is near
A graceful, tender shoot
Sprouting from a tiny seed
And a season full of work
Has caused me to believe
With a God as good as ours
Who delights in growing things
He’s shown me how to garden
To cultivate the fruit it brings
Before the seed is sown
One must know what they will eat
And choose the care accordingly
Whether pumpkin, herb or beet
So with this heart of mine
I am quick to recognize
The sprout that boasts a bud
Has not come by blind surprise
But its fragrance fills my space
By its warmth I am blessed
A sweet little flower named “joy”
Is alive within my breast
-Abigail Wiggins